Bette Midler

Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world.
– Bette Midler

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.
– Bette Midler

The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.
– Bette Midler

I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories
are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election,
erection! Either way we’re screwed!
– Bette Midler

It’s the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance. It is the one who won’t be taken who cannot seem to give.
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.
– Bette Midler

Group conformity scares the pants off me because it’s so often a prelude to cruelty towards
anyone who doesn’t want to – or can’t – join the Big Parade.
– Bette Midler

Cherish forever what makes you unique, cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.
– Bette Midler

I feel like a million tonight – but one at a time.
– Bette Midler

My idea of super woman is someone who scrubs her own floors.
– Bette Midler

Underneath all this drag I’m really a librarian, you know.
– Bette Midler

But enough of me, let’s talk about you. What do you think about me?
– Bette Midler

If somebody makes me laugh, I’m his slave for life.
– Bette Midler

If only I’d known my differentness would be an asset, then my earlier life would have been
much easier.
– Bette Midler

I have my standards. They’re low, but I have them.
– Bette Midler

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
– Bette Midler

Get the trash off the street and back on the stage where it belongs!
– Bette Midler

Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat
like a horse five nights a week.
– Bette Midler

When it’s three o’clock in New York, it’s still 1938 in London.
– Bette Midler

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
– Bette Midler

I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing.
– Bette Midler

Rap is poetry set to music. But to me it’s like a jackhammer.
– Bette Midler