Josh Billings

The best advice I was ever given was on my twenty-first birthday when my father said,
“Son, here’s a million dollars. Don’t lose it.”
–  Josh Billings

The best advice I was ever given was on my twenty-first birthday when my father said,
“Son, here’s a million dollars. Don’t lose it.”
– Josh Billings

The world can never be considered educated until we spend as much on books as we do on
chewing gum.
– Josh Billings

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
– Josh Billings

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
– Josh Billings

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
– Josh Billings

Genius after all ain’t anything more then elegant common sense.
– Josh Billings

It is much easier to repent of sins we have committed than to repent of sins we intend to
commit.
– Josh Billings

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or
bust.
– Josh Billings

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.
– Josh Billings

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it.
– Josh Billings

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
– Josh Billings

Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been.
– Josh Billings

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.
– Josh Billings

Don’t take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.
– Josh Billings

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.
– Josh Billings

There’s a great power in words, if you don’t hitch too many of them together.
– Josh Billings

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
– Josh Billings

Man is my brother, and I am nearer related to him through his vices than I am through his
virtue.
– Josh Billings

If you do not know how to lie, cheat, and steal – turn your attention to politics and learn.
– Josh Billings

Better make a weak man your enemy than your friend.
– Josh Billings

Men of genius are like eagles, they live on what they kill, while men of talents are like crows,
they live on what has been killed for them.
– Josh Billings

Solitude is a good place to visit but a poor place to stay.
– Josh Billings

Don’t put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.
– Josh Billings

Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you’re in danger of bumping your head
against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
– Josh Billings

Be like a postage stamp – stick to one thing until you get there.
– Josh Billings

It ain’t often that a man’s reputation outlasts his money.
– Josh Billings

Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.
– Josh Billings

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.
– Josh Billings

A slander is like a hornet: If you cannot kill it dead at the first blow, better not to strike at it.
– Josh Billings

Every man has his follies – and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
– Josh Billings

One-half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no
soon enough.
– Josh Billings

Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast – but I’d try a revolver first.
– Josh Billings

The trouble with most folks isn’t their ignorance. It’s knowing so many things that ain’t so.
– Josh Billings

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I
am most certain of the first time.
– Josh Billings

Occasions are rare; and those who know how to seize upon them are rarer.
– Josh Billings

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
– Josh Billings

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can’t tell the truth without lying.
– Josh Billings

We hate those who will not take our advice, and despise them who do.
– Josh Billings

If the animals had reason, they would act just as ridiculous as we menfolks do.
– Josh Billings

One of the rarest things that a man ever does is to do the best he can.
– Josh Billings

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
– Josh Billings

It ain’t so much trouble to get rich as it is to tell when we have got rich.
– Josh Billings

I’ve never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.
– Josh Billings

There may come a time when the lion and the lamb will lie down together, but I am still
betting on the lion.
– Josh Billings

It’s not only the most difficult thing to know one’s self, but the most inconvenient.
– Josh Billings

Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.
– Josh Billings

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
– Josh Billings

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself.
– Josh Billings

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.
– Josh Billings

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
– Josh Billings

It is easy to assume a habit; but when you try to cast it off, it will take skin and all.
– Josh Billings

Opinions should be formed with great caution – and changed with greater.
– Josh Billings

The world can never be considered educated until we spend as much on books as we do on
chewing gum.
– Josh Billings

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
– Josh Billings

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
– Josh Billings

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
– Josh Billings

Genius after all ain’t anything more then elegant common sense.
– Josh Billings

It is much easier to repent of sins we have committed than to repent of sins we intend to
commit.
– Josh Billings

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or
bust.
– Josh Billings

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.
– Josh Billings

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it.
– Josh Billings

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
– Josh Billings

Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been.
– Josh Billings

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.
– Josh Billings

Don’t take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.
– Josh Billings

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.
– Josh Billings

There’s a great power in words, if you don’t hitch too many of them together.
– Josh Billings

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
– Josh Billings

Man is my brother, and I am nearer related to him through his vices than I am through his
virtue.
– Josh Billings

If you do not know how to lie, cheat, and steal – turn your attention to politics and learn.
– Josh Billings

Better make a weak man your enemy than your friend.
– Josh Billings

Men of genius are like eagles, they live on what they kill, while men of talents are like crows,
they live on what has been killed for them.
– Josh Billings

Solitude is a good place to visit but a poor place to stay.
– Josh Billings

Don’t put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.
– Josh Billings

Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you’re in danger of bumping your head
against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
– Josh Billings

Be like a postage stamp – stick to one thing until you get there.
– Josh Billings

It ain’t often that a man’s reputation outlasts his money.
– Josh Billings

Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.
– Josh Billings

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.
– Josh Billings

A slander is like a hornet: If you cannot kill it dead at the first blow, better not to strike at it.
– Josh Billings

Every man has his follies – and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
– Josh Billings

One-half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no
soon enough.
– Josh Billings

Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast – but I’d try a revolver first.
– Josh Billings

The trouble with most folks isn’t their ignorance. It’s knowing so many things that ain’t so.
– Josh Billings

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I
am most certain of the first time.
– Josh Billings

Occasions are rare; and those who know how to seize upon them are rarer.
– Josh Billings

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
– Josh Billings

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can’t tell the truth without lying.
– Josh Billings

We hate those who will not take our advice, and despise them who do.
– Josh Billings

If the animals had reason, they would act just as ridiculous as we menfolks do.
– Josh Billings

One of the rarest things that a man ever does is to do the best he can.
– Josh Billings

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
– Josh Billings

It ain’t so much trouble to get rich as it is to tell when we have got rich.
– Josh Billings

I’ve never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.
– Josh Billings

There may come a time when the lion and the lamb will lie down together, but I am still
betting on the lion.
– Josh Billings

It’s not only the most difficult thing to know one’s self, but the most inconvenient.
– Josh Billings

Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.
– Josh Billings

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
– Josh Billings

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself.
– Josh Billings

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.
– Josh Billings

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
– Josh Billings

It is easy to assume a habit; but when you try to cast it off, it will take skin and all.
– Josh Billings

Opinions should be formed with great caution – and changed with greater.
– Josh Billings