It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them.
– Bill Vaughan
If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another
nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.
– Bill Vaughan
We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how
we took them along on all our picnics.
– Bill Vaughan
By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.
– Bill Vaughan
Either heaven or hell will have continous background music. Which one you think it will be
says a lot about you.
– Bill Vaughan
A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street
to vote in a national election.
– Bill Vaughan
Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives,
maybe someday they can master parallel parking.
– Bill Vaughan
Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime
income – which he then spends sending his son to college.
– Bill Vaughan
As a nation, we are dedicated to keeping physically fit – and parking as close to the stadium
as possible.
– Bill Vaughan
Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a huge research staff to study the
problem.
– Bill Vaughan
At the bank, post office or supermarket, there is one universal law which you ignore at your
own peril: the shortest line moves the slowest.
– Bill Vaughan
It might be a good idea if the various countries of the world would occasionally swap history
books, just to see what other people are doing with the same set of facts.
– Bill Vaughan
We learn something every day, and lots of times it’s that what we learned the day before
was wrong.
– Bill Vaughan
Muscles come and go; flab lasts.
– Bill Vaughan
A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.
– Bill Vaughan
The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won’t
take it, but somebody always does.
– Bill Vaughan
Size isn’t everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.
– Bill Vaughan
One problem with growing older is that it gets increasingly tougher to find a famous historical
figure who didn’t amount to much when he was your age.
– Bill Vaughan
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in
each other.
– Bill Vaughan
In the next century it will be the early mechanical bird which gets the first plastic worm out of
the artificial grass.
– Bill Vaughan
A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of
swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.
– Bill Vaughan
In the game of life it’s a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the
pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.
– Bill Vaughan
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure
the old one leaves.
– Bill Vaughan
The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.
– Bill Vaughan
Pipe-smokers spend so much time cleaning, filling and fooling with their pipes, they don’t have
time to get into mischief.
– Bill Vaughan
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees then names the streets after them.
– Bill Vaughan
Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re
forced to.
– Bill Vaughan
If you think that one individual can’t make a difference in the world, consider what one cigar
can do in a nine-room house.
– Bill Vaughan
The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal
and outdoors with gas.
– Bill Vaughan