You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
– Dean Martin
It was a woman who drove me to drink, come to think of it I never did hang around to thank
her for that.
– Dean Martin
– What shall we drink to?
– About four in the morning.
Sammy Davis Jr., – Dean Martin
Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show business.
Hard work, perseverance, and discipline: all the things you need… when you have no talent.
– Dean Martin
I’d hate to be a teetotaller. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that’s as good as
you’re going to feel all day.
– Dean Martin
Johnny Carson is a comedian who is seen every night in millions of bedrooms all over
America… and that’s why his last wife left him.
– Dean Martin
I’ve got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are “hello,” “goodbye,”
and “I’m pregnant.”.
– Dean Martin
I would rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy.
– Dean Martin
In high school, Frank (Sinatra) never participated in extra-curricular activities, like nature
study, paintings or ceramics. Frank’s hobby was a most interesting one: he was an amateur
gynecologist.
– Dean Martin
If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.
– Dean Martin
Last night she was banging on my door for forty-five minutes – but I wouldn’t let her out.
– Dean Martin
When Jerry Lewis and I were big, we used to go to parties, and everybody thought I was
big-headed and stuck up, and I wasn’t. It was because I didn’t know how to speak good
English, so I used to keep my mouth shut.
– Dean Martin
The reason I drink is because when I’m sober I think I’m Eddie Fisher.
– Dean Martin
There’s a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better
than he does.
– Dean Martin
Phyllis (Diller) is the women of about whom Picasso once said, “Somebody throw a drop cloth
over that.”
– Dean Martin
I drink because my body craves, needs alcohol. I don’t drink, my body’s a drunk.
– Dean Martin