Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.
– Doug Larson
Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.
– Doug Larson
The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
– Doug Larson
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
– Doug Larson
Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know
they were impossible.
– Doug Larson
There’s nothing like having grandchildren to restore your faith in heredity.
– Doug Larson
Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
– Doug Larson
Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
– Doug Larson
An optimist thinks this is the best of all worlds. A pessimist fears the same may be true.
– Doug Larson
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
– Doug Larson
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after
the worse.
– Doug Larson
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
– Doug Larson
The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there’s only one other choice.
– Doug Larson
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.
– Doug Larson
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as
bacon.
– Doug Larson
To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
– Doug Larson
People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the
30-year mortgage.
– Doug Larson
The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.
– Doug Larson
Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals
away.
– Doug Larson
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a
shortage of flowers.
– Doug Larson
Establishing goals is all right if you don’t let them deprive you of interesting detours.
– Doug Larson
The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
– Doug Larson
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in
rows.
– Doug Larson
Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you
have three – and paradise is when you have none.
– Doug Larson
A clean basement, garage and attic are signs of an empty life.
– Doug Larson
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
– Doug Larson
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
– Doug Larson
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing
poles.
– Doug Larson
Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.
– Doug Larson
The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
– Doug Larson
The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
– Doug Larson
For disappearing acts, it’s hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after
eight of sleep and eight of work.
– Doug Larson
Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.
– Doug Larson
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day
Weekend.
– Doug Larson
The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.
– Doug Larson
Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.
– Doug Larson
A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
– Doug Larson
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the
consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
– Doug Larson