Studies show that women are equally attracted to men that they believe have the potential to be extremely successful as they are to men who are already successful. This would also explain why women find men who display great strength and skills to be attractive, even though they are dirt poor. It explains why the starving artist has no trouble finding girl friends to support him, and the college athlete can date supermodels even though he can’t afford a hamburger.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
Change requires emotional energy. If you’re lazy and comfortable and not engaging with the world emotionally, you will never muster up the courage or energy to change yourself. Fact. If you leave yourself too many alternatives and too many superficial pleasures instead of progress, you will not maintain enough will power to continue pushing yourself. Fact.
– Mark Manson
Men are expected to initiate in all phases of courtship, and therefore a man who is hesitant, anxious or afraid of initiating will not get very far with most women.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
The biggest aphrodisiac in the world is someone who likes you, genuinely likes you. A woman’s desire is to be desired. But it has to be genuine desire.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
In ancient times, the Trojan armies would burn the ships they sailed in on. The message was clear: there’s no alternative to success. If you know there’s an escape route, you will half-ass it. So eliminate your escape routes.
– Mark Manson
Women don’t judge a man’s status by the car he drives or how many VIP tables he pays for. They judge his status by his behavior, and the behavioral trait they pick up on is what I refer to as True Confidence.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
Humans consistently over-estimate the value or pleasure of what they don’t have and over-estimate the pain or loss of losing something they do have.
– Mark Manson
Why is every woman you date a crazy bitch? Well, the short answer is: it’s you. If all of the women you end up emotionally involved with are psychos and find a way to make your life hell, the only thing they all have in common is you. So start by looking at yourself.
– Mark Manson
Let’s say you meet a woman and just come right out and say, “I think you’re beautiful, I’d like to take you on a date.” A lot of men cringe at this idea. Nice Guys hate it because they think it will make them creepy. False Confidence Guys hate it because they believe they’re giving their power away. But in reality, it’s one of the most powerful and practical things you can say.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
Our default setting is to always focus on what we don’t have, what we lack, to what’s wrong. It’s wired into us. People always lament taking things for granted, or not being able to appreciate what they have. Appreciation for what you have and where you are is an active habit that must be consciously practiced. Practicing gratitude increases happiness and well-being. It also makes you far more pleasant to be around.
– Mark Manson
If a man of True Confidence meets a woman who rejects him or is not interested in him, he will assume it is her loss, that he is a great guy and that if she can’t see that, then that is OK. Life will go on.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
Our culture is spoiled. We’re given everything and work for nothing. We are endlessly entertained, placated and told we deserve the best without lifting a finger. Marketing has conditioned us to believe that there’s an intellectual solution or product that can give us whatever we want without getting off our asses and doing the work ourselves. We’re constantly over-stimulated, whether it be by 250 satellite TV channels, six video game systems, Blu-Ray movies, pornography or 10,000 MP3s. You’ve been sold all your life on being lazy and complacent. Reject the easy environment. Change the environment and change yourself.
– Mark Manson
You can ask a woman how her day is going, or say the most perceptive or witty thing to her in the first five minutes, but her first impression is largely going to be based on how you present yourself (looks/lifestyle), your level of anxiety, and your ability to communicate clearly.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
Making money is great, I wholly endorse it. I love making money. But it’s important to think about what the point of earning money is. Ideally, we want to make money so we can enjoy the “finer things” in life. What I’m questioning is what those “finer things” in life actually are. What’s the point in having a gigantic house and a nice car if you’re never home to enjoy them? What’s the point of having a gigantic plasma TV if you have no one to watch it with? Why make $150,000 a year and hate your job, if you could make $75,000 a year and love your job? Money buys happiness only when it is spent on experiences and earned without costing too much time.
– Mark Manson
The more money/looks/success you have, the less attractive behavior you need. The less money/looks/success you have, the more attractive behavior you need.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
10 things most Americans don’t know about America:
1. Few people are impressed by us…
2. Few people hate us…
3. We know nothing about the rest of the world…
4. We are poor at expressing gratitude and affection…
5. The quality of life for the average American is not that great…
6. The rest of the world is not a slum-ridden shithole compared to us…
7. We’re paranoid…
8. We’re status-obsessed and seek attention…
9. We are very unhealthy…
10. We mistake comfort for happiness…
– Mark Manson, http://markmanson.net/america
True Confidence means you respect yourself AND others. False Confidence means you only respect yourself. The difference is that if a woman says something offensive, a man with False Confidence will berate her and try to get her to change her mind, whereas a man with True Confidence will simply make it clear that he found what she said offensive and will not tolerate it again. How she responds is her choice.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
The determinant factor of our baseline happiness is the extent which we feel we control our lives. People who are chronically unhappy are often unhappy because they feel powerless to the fears and anxieties which keep their life on the same path. People who are happy tend to seem fearless and like “go getters.” This is not a coincidence.
– Mark Manson
Courage is a habit. Courage is a form of discipline. It’s taking a certain action even though you feel like doing something else. The difference here is that courage involves acting against fear, whereas discipline involves acting against laziness or fatigue.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
The biggest factors on your status and appearance, the two F’s: Fashion and Fitness.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
The concept of “high value” is a pedestal. Coming up with special pick up lines is a pedestal. Performing is a pedestal. Believing you have to treat her differently in any way because of how she looks is a pedestal. I recommend guys switch to a binary system of 1 or 0. A “1” is a woman you’d like to be with. A “0” is a woman you wouldn’t. Why you want to be with her or not, how she looks, whether she’s just OK looking or the most beautiful woman on the planet – none of that matters. Either you’re interested or you’re not. The rest doesn’t matter.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
Most people exert their will power on temporary fixes rather than life-long habits.
– Mark Manson
The reason rejection hurts, is because it’s basically a judgement on your performance. So if you are treating your dating life like a performance, if you are trying to impress her all the time and pulling out all of your best lines and jokes and she rejects you – you’re: “Oh, you’re a shitty performer.” But if you’re just being honest about who you are, like “This is who I am… this is where I come from… this is what I think…” and she rejects you – then it shows you that you’re not right for her. That you’re not compatible… Rejection actually becomes an ally because it sorts out the right people in your life and the wrong people in your life. And you become ok with it. You go out, you meet a woman, and you think she’s a bitch. It’s great. We’re not compatible. You don’t go home and worry about. You don’t go on a forum and ask guys, “How do I make her like me next time?” Because you don’t care.
– Mark Manson
When a compliment comes from a man seeking nothing in return, it’s a gift of truth, a piece of his vulnerability and infinitely more powerful as a result.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.
– Mark Manson
You cannot be an attractive and life-changing presence to some women without being a joke or an embarrassment to others. You simply can’t. You have to be controversial. You have to polarize. It’s the name of the game.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
The loss of something is three to four times more painful than the joy of gaining the same thing. It’s an unfortunate mechanism that has kept our species alive and thriving but also keeps many of us in a constant state of irritation and stress… Gratitude is the skill of happiness. It’s the cure for an emotional vampire. And it is indeed a skill. It requires practice and effort and habit.
– Mark Manson
Rejection exists for a reason – it’s a means to keep people who are not good for each other apart. Men don’t seem to understand that if a woman rejects him because he’s short, or because she doesn’t like his hair, or because she finds him boring, then he wasn’t going to enjoy being around her anyway. Ask yourself: Why would you want to be intimate with someone who doesn’t appreciate you? Why would you EVER settle for such a person? Because she’s hot? Come on, have a little more self-respect.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
Most people invest their time and effort chasing material wealth and social status. I believe if I invest my time and effort into knowledge, new experience and relationships, then material wealth and status will be a natural side-effect of that.
– Mark Manson
We mistake comfort for happiness… Comfort sells easier than happiness. Comfort is easy. It requires no effort and no work. Happiness takes effort. It requires being proactive, confronting fears, facing difficult situations, and having unpleasant conversations. Comfort equals sales. We’ve been sold comfort for generations and for generations we bought: bigger houses, separated further and further out into the suburbs; bigger TVs, more movies, and take-out. The American public is becoming docile and complacent. We’re obese and entitled.
– Mark Manson
Social status (and therefore attractiveness) is determined by how you behave around other people, how other people behave around you, and how you treat yourself.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
In 1906 there was an Italian economist named Vilfredo Pareto. One day Pareto noticed that every year 20% of the pea pods in his garden produced approximately 80% of the peas. This got him thinking about economic output on a larger scale. Sure enough, he began to find that in various industries, societies and even companies, 80% of the production often came from the 20% most productive faction. This became known as the Pareto Principle, or what is now often referred to as the 80/20 Principle. The 80/20 Principle states that 80% of the output or results will come from 20% of the input or action… What are the 20% of your possessions you get the most value out of? What do you spend 20% of your time doing that gives you 80% of your happiness? Who are the 20% of people you’re close to who make you the happiest? What are the 20% of the clothes you wear 80% of the time? What’s the 20% of food you eat 80% of the time? Chances are these are easy questions for you to answer. You’ve just never considered them before. And once you’ve answered them, you can easily focus on increasing the efficiencies in your life.
– Mark Manson
New behaviors only require will power until they’re ingrained in us, until we no longer have to think about them. Instead of asking yourself what goal you’d like to reach, go one step further and ask which habits you’d have to implement in order for that goal to be achievable, and then expend the will power on implementing those life habits.
– Mark Manson
For decades, research has tied gratefulness and appreciation to happiness. People who are happier tend to be more grateful and appreciative for what they have. But what they’ve also found is that it also works the other way around: consciously practicing gratitude makes one happier. It makes one appreciate what one has and helps one to remain in the present moment. Practicing gratitude increases accountability which directly leads to higher self esteem and happiness.
– Mark Manson
You could say men and women almost speak two entirely different languages. Men mostly communicate through facts, stories and data. We discuss sports statistics, how we fixed our car last weekend and where we plan on going next month. If a man says. “I’ll see you at 6 PM,” he typically means it literally… Women communicate more in feelings and specifically, through intentions. Sure, they still pay attention to the facts and stories going on on the surface, but what’s actually communicated to them is the intention and feeling underneath. This is sub-communication.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
Self-Discipline: How close your day-to-day behavior reflects the person you wish to be.
– Mark Manson
A man who becomes comfortable with his vulnerability becomes the opposite of needy. If neediness is prioritizing others’ perceptions about you over your own, then vulnerability is the exact opposite. Being vulnerable forces you to accept and prioritize your own perception of yourself over those of others. Why? Because you have no choice. As you make yourself vulnerable, you will experience both success and rejection. And as you experience success or rejection, you will be forced to upgrade your own sense of self worth. There’s no other option. Slowly, but surely you’ll chisel a “Don’t Give a Fuck” attitude out of yourself that is genuine yet giving at the same time. A benevolent selfishness. But this can only be done by consistently exposing yourself and opening up your emotions and true thoughts first to yourself and then to those around you.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
Whenever you’re in doubt of what you should do, err on the side of aggression. Choose the more bold action. Because if you wait around for the safer and less bold opportunity to make a move on her, chances are the attraction will be less or may even dwindle.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
A man who believes he knows everything is a man who learns nothing. What’s more important: being right, or changing your life?
– Mark Manson
The reason not every fantasy should be pursued is because fantasies never have negative repercussions. Reality does.
– Mark Manson
There is a belief from which all other positive beliefs flow. This is the prime belief. This is the belief that you are responsible for everything you do in your life, no matter the external
circumstances. The belief that regardless of the situation, our decisions are our responsibility. Until a person has adopted this belief, change is impossible, and all negative beliefs will remain cemented in place. Without the prime belief, people will feel powerless to their own lives.
– Mark Manson
Women are turned on by men who desire them. They are also turned on by the behavior of high status. When you’re expressing your truth boldly and showing shameless desire for her, you are demonstrating both qualities that turn her on.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
Society rewards the valueless with superficial benefits. But developing strong core values are the foundation of lifelong happiness and fulfillment. They’re the prerequisite for any
semblance of a healthy relationship, romantic or otherwise. They’re the compass that always points toward your life purpose. In short, they’re awesome, and you should know what yours
are. Values are the ideals and standards that you live by, regardless of external pressures or incentives.
– Mark Manson
This is more or less the blueprint of seduction: a strong, high status, attractive exterior (lifestyle and looks), fearless, and able to open up and share your vulnerable side with her
(and theoretically, only her). Women get weak in the knees for this. And it’s not even conscious in them most of the time.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
Today we are swamped with distractive forces – television, movies, social media, internet, video games, texting – and most of us have been raised by parents with a “hands off” child-
rearing philosophy, you know, assuming they were around at all. For our generation, (unless you’re Asian) emphasis has always been put on self-esteem and not self-discipline. Instead of
engaged and nurtured, we were placed squarely in front of new nannies: cable television or a Playstation. Instead of being punished for half-assing, we were rewarded for mediocrity.
Participation awards, “A for Effort” and trophies for everyone, even if they lost – these reinforced the belief that we don’t actually have to earn anything, it’s handed to us.
– Mark Manson
The reality of incompatibility defines our entire strategy of dating women. To base our strategy on anything else is inefficient at best and downright damaging at worst. The world is
what it is, it’s our job to simply present ourselves as boldly and clearly to it as possible, accept the reactions and move on the opportunities. Anything else is a fool’s errand.
– Mark Manson, Models – Attract Women Through Honesty
The business coach Zig Ziglar taught that if your goal is to go out and find a way to get money from a thousand people, those thousand people will try to find reasons to not give it to you. But if your goal is to go out and make the lives of a thousand people better, then those thousand people will gladly give you money and much more. This has become one of the defining principles of my life.
– Mark Manson