To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit
it; whenever you’re right, shut up.
– Ogden Nash
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
– Ogden Nash
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
– Ogden Nash
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
– Ogden Nash
Women would rather be right than reasonable.
– Ogden Nash
People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven’t what they want that
they really don’t want it.
– Ogden Nash
I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm the man
she was preparing to overwhelm.
– Ogden Nash
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
– Ogden Nash
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
– Ogden Nash
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either
a clear conscience or none at all.
– Ogden Nash
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
– Ogden Nash
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
– Ogden Nash
Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and
you hope it isn’t for you.
– Ogden Nash
One man’s remorse is another man’s reminiscence.
– Ogden Nash
I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things
were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
– Ogden Nash
The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
– Ogden Nash
Too clever is dumb.
– Ogden Nash
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
– Ogden Nash
A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with
your girdle when your hips stick.
– Ogden Nash
Children aren’t happy with nothing to ignore,
and that’s what parents are created for.
– Ogden Nash
Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
– Ogden Nash
God in His wisdom made the fly, and then forgot to tell us why.
– Ogden Nash