As we learn in the Zen philosophy, when you learn to “let go” of problems instead of resisting with all your might, your life will begin to flow.
– Richard Carlson
If we would just slow down, happiness would catch up to us.
– Richard Carlson
One of the mistakes many of us make is that we feel sorry for ourselves, or for others, thinking that life should be fair, or that someday it will be. It’s not and it won’t.
– Richard Carlson
Circumstances don’t make a person, they reveal him or her.
– Richard Carlson
Each time you notice yourself falling into the “I wish life were different” trap, back off and start over. Take a breath and remember all that you have to be grateful for.
– Richard Carlson
The sooner we accept the inevitable dilemma of not being able to win the approval of everyone we meet, the easier our lives will become.
– Richard Carlson
People who live the most fulfilling lives are the ones who are always rejoicing at what they have.
– Richard Carlson
The ego is that part of us that wants to be seen, heard, respected, considered special, often at the expense of someone else. It’s the part of us that interrupts someone else’s story, or impatiently waits his turn to speak so that he can bring the conversation and attention back
to himself.
– Richard Carlson
The more patient you are, the more accepting you will be of what is, rather than insisting that life be exactly as you would like it to be. Without patience, life is extremely frustrating.
– Richard Carlson
Let go of the idea that gentle, relaxed people can’t be superachievers.
– Richard Carlson
Do something nice for someone else – and don’t tell anyone about it… you always feel good when you give to others. Rather than diluting the positive feelings by telling others about your own kindness, by keeping it to yourself you get to retain all the positive feelings.
– Richard Carlson
If someone throws you the ball, you don’t have to catch it.
– Richard Carlson
Look for the extraordinary in the ordinary… we see in life what we want to see. If you search for ugliness you’ll find plenty of it. If you want to find fault with other people, your career, or the world in general, you’ll certainly be able to do so. But the opposite is also true. If you look
for the extraordinary in the ordinary, you can train yourself to see it.
– Richard Carlson
Relax… most of us postpone relaxation until our “in basket” is empty. Of course it never is.
– Richard Carlson
Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness.
– Richard Carlson
When we are immobilized by little things – when we are irritated, annoyed, and easily bothered – our (over-) reactions not only make us frustrated but actually get in the way of getting what we want.
– Richard Carlson
One of the cardinal rules of joyful living is that judging others takes a great deal of energy and, without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be.
– Richard Carlson
Reading is a gift. It’s something you can do almost anytime and anywhere. It can be a tremendous way to learn, relax, and even escape.
– Richard Carlson
The mind-set that says “I’ll be happy when this desire is fulfilled” is the same mind-set that will repeat itself once that desire is met.
– Richard Carlson
One of the most important questions you can ever ask yourself is, “Do I want to be ‘right’ – or do I want to be happy?”
– Richard Carlson
Needing to be right – or needing someone else to be wrong – encourages others to become defensive, and puts pressure on us to keep defending.
– Richard Carlson
We take our own goals so seriously that we forget to have fun along the way, and we forget to cut ourselves some slack. We take simple preferences and turn them into conditions for our own happiness… It’s helpful to keep reminding yourself and repeating the sentence, “Life
isn’t an emergency.”
– Richard Carlson
I try to remember to start my day thinking of someone to thank. To me, gratitude and inner peace go hand in hand.
– Richard Carlson
Whenever we hold on to our anger, we turn “small stuff” into really “big stuff” in our minds. We start to believe that our positions are more important than our happiness. They are not.
– Richard Carlson
Your job is to try to determine what the people in your life are trying to teach you. You’ll find that if you do this, you’ll be far less annoyed, bothered, and frustrated by the actions and imperfections of other people.
– Richard Carlson
Reflection is one of the most underused yet powerful tools for success.
– Richard Carlson
When you take time, often, to reflect on the miracle of life – the miracle that you are even able to read this book – the gift of sight, of love, and all the rest, it can help to remind you that many of the things that you think of as “big stuff” are really just “s mall stuff” that you are turning into big stuff.
– Richard Carlson
You are what you practice most.
– Richard Carlson
When our attention is in the present moment, we push fear from our minds. Fear is the concern over events that might happen in the future – we won’t have enough money, our children will get into trouble, we will get old and die, whatever. To combat fear, the best strategy is to learn to bring your attention back to the present.
– Richard Carlson
When you let someone else win an argument, often you both end up winners.- Richard Carlson
The key to a good life is this: If you’re not going to talk about something during the last hour of your life, then don’t make it a top priority during your lifetime.
– Richard Carlson
Ask yourself the question, “Will this matter a year from now?”
– Richard Carlson
One of the most dynamic and significant changes you can make in your life is to make the commitment to drop all negative references to your past, to begin living now.
– Richard Carlson
Patience is one of those special qualities where success feeds on itself. Once you reach little milestones – five minutes of successful patience – you’ll begin to see that you do, indeed, have the capacity to be patient, even for longer periods of time. Over time, you may even become a patient person.
– Richard Carlson
Children listen best with their eyes. What you do is what they hear.
– Richard Carlson
Healing from a loss is a natural process of life – just as healing from a broken bone is too. Knowing this in the midst of pain is of great comfort.
– Richard Carlson
To a large degree, the measure of our peace of mind is determined by how much we are able to live in the present moment.
– Richard Carlson
The next time you find yourself in an argument, rather than defend your position, see if you can see the other point of view first… Contrary to popular belief, this attitude does not make you weak.
– Richard Carlson
Unhappiness doesn’t and can’t exist on its own. Unhappiness is the feeling that accompanies negative thinking about your life. In the absence of that thinking, the unhappiness, or stress, or jealousy, can’t exist. There is nothing to hold your negative feelings in place other
than your own thinking.
– Richard Carlson
Turn your melodrama into a mellow-drama.
– Richard Carlson
So many people spend so much of their life energy “sweating the small stuff” that they completely lose touch with the magic and beauty of life.
– Richard Carlson
If you regularly take a minute to check in with yourself, to ask yourself, “What’s really important?” you may find that some of the choices you are making are in conflict with your own stated goals. This strategy can help you align your actions with your goals and encourage you to make more conscious, loving decisions.
– Richard Carlson
Life is a great deal more fun and much easier to manage when you stop blaming others. Give it a try and see what happens.
– Richard Carlson
When you learn the habit of responding to life with more ease, problems that seemed “insurmountable” will begin to seem more manageable. And even the “biggies,” things that are truly stressful, won’t throw you off track as much as they once did.
– Richard Carlson
I’ve found that simply reminding myself that life doesn’t have to be a soap opera is a powerful method of calming down.
– Richard Carlson
The trick is to be grateful when your mood is high and graceful when it is low.
– Richard Carlson
Breathe before you speak… I spent most of my life waiting for my turn to speak. If you’re at all like me, you’ll be pleasantly amazed at the softer reactions and looks of surprise as you let others completely finish their thought before you begin yours. Often, you will be allowing
someone to feel listened to for the very first time.
– Richard Carlson
Our minds are powerful instruments. When we decide that something is true or beyond our reach, it’s very difficult to pierce through this self-created hurdle.
– Richard Carlson
Practice random acts of kindness… There are five toll bridges in the San Francisco Bay Area. A while back, some people began paying the tolls of the cars immediately behind them. The drivers would drive to the toll window, and pull out their dollar bill, only to be informed, “Your
toll has been paid by the car ahead of you.” This is an example of a spontaneous, random gift, something given without expectation of or demand for anything in return. You can imagine the impact that tiny gift had on the driver of the car! Perhaps it encouraged him to be a nicer person that day. Often a single act of kindness sets a series of kind acts in motion.
– Richard Carlson
One of my favorite sayings comes from Seng-Ts’an. He said, “Our way is not difficult, save the picking and choosing.” Entire books and weeklong courses could be developed around these words. The wisdom is simple, but extremely powerful and profound, particularly when dealing with loss.
– Richard Carlson
Don’t sweat the small stuff… and it’s all small stuff.
– Richard Carlson
The old adage, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is” isn’t always correct. In fact, the suspicion, cynicism, and doubt that are inherent in this belief can and does keep people from taking advantage of excellent opportunities.
– Richard Carlson
Choose to be kind over being right and you’ll be right everytime.
– Richard Carlson