We live in a culture that is biased against a constellation of traits, namely shyness, seriousness, introversion. And this leads to a colossal waste of talent and of energy and of happiness.
– Susan Cain
Introversion is different from being shy. Shyness is about fear of social judgement. Introversion is more about how do you respond to stimulation, including social stimulation. So extroverts really create large amounts of stimulation, whereas introverts feel at their most alive and most switched on and most capable when they’re in quieter environments. Not all the time, you know, these things aren’t an absolute… So the key, then, to maximizing our
talents is for us all to put ourselves in a zone of stimulation that is right for us.
– Susan Cain
We set up our schools and we set up our work places for maximum group interaction all the time, thinking that this will enable us to be creative and this is a real misconception, because solitude is such a crucial ingredient to creativity and we’re losing sight of solitude.
– Susan Cain
Persistence isn’t very glamorous. If genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, then as a culture we tend to lionize the 1 percent. We love its flash and dazzle. But great power lies in the other 99 percent.
– Susan Cain
But in the long run, staying true to your temperament is the key to finding work you love and work that matters.
– Susan Cain
Introverts tend to be very careful, much less likely to take outsides risks, which is something we might all favor nowadays… Introverted leaders often deliver better outcomes than extroverts do because when they’re managing pro-active employees they’re much more likely to let those employees run with their ideas, whereas an extrovert can quite unwittingly get so excited about things that they’re putting their own stamp on things and other people’s ideas might not easily then bubble up to the surface.
– Susan Cain
Solitude is out of fashion. Our companies, our schools and our culture are in thrall to an idea I call the New Group think, which holds that creativity and achievement come from an oddly gregarious place.
– Susan Cain
If you’re an introvert, you also know that the bias against quiet can cause deep psychic pain. As a child you might have overheard your parents apologize for your shyness. Or at school you might have been prodded to come “out of your shell” -that noxious expression which fails to appreciate that some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go, and some humans are just the same.
– Susan Cain
“Quiet leadership” is not an oxymoron.
– Susan Cain
Many introverts feel there’s something wrong with them, and try to pass as extroverts. But whenever you try to pass as something you’re not, you lose a part of yourself along the way. You especially lose a sense of how to spend your time.
– Susan Cain
Whoever you are, bear in mind that appearance is not reality. Some people act like extroverts, but the effort costs them energy, authenticity, and even physical health. Others seem aloof or self-contained, but their inner landscapes are rich and full of drama. So the next time you see a person with a composed face and a soft voice, remember that inside her mind she might be solving an equation, composing a sonnet, designing a hat. She might be deploying the powers of quiet.
– Susan Cain
Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.
– Susan Cain
Introverts and extroverts work well in a pairing – both in work and in love. They are drawn to each other’s company; there’s a sense of each one completing the other, a sense of Yin and Yang.
– Susan Cain
We don’t need giant personalities to transform companies. We need leaders who build not their own egos but the institutions they run.
– Susan Cain
Embracing their quiet nature does not cause introverts to flee to a shack in the woods. It empowers them to engage with the world – but on their own terms.
– Susan Cain
Introverts offer something unique to society that isn’t valued enough right now – careful, contemplative thinking; persistence; quiet strength. Marginalizing this personality trait oppresses everyone, in a way.
– Susan Cain
The next generation of quiet kids can and should be raised to know their own strength.
– Susan Cain
Sometimes it helps to be a pretend-extrovert. There’s always time to be quiet later.
– Susan Cain
Groups follow the most charismatic person, even though there is no correlation between being a good speaker and having great ideas.
– Susan Cain
If the task of the first half of life is to put yourself out there, the task of the second half is to make sense of where you’ve been.
– Susan Cain
Love is essential, gregariousness is optional.
– Susan Cain
Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.
– Susan Cain
(Bill) Clinton was very smart, but definitely a showman – a classic extroverted politician personality. He could connect with people incredibly well, but the downside is that extroversion is often associated with impulsiveness and risky behavior.
– Susan Cain
Some of our transformative leaders in history have been introverts. I’ll give you some examples: Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Gandhi; all those people described themselves as quite and soft-spoken and even shy. And they all took the spotlight, even though every bone in their body was telling them not to. And this turns out to have a special power on its own; people could feel that these leaders were at the helm, not because they enjoyed directing others and not out of the pleasure being looked at. They were there because they had no
choice; because they were driven to do what they thought was right.
– Susan Cain
Solitude matters, and for some people it is the air that they breathe.
– Susan Cain
So stay true to your own nature. If you like to do things in a slow and steady way, don’t let others make you feel as if you have to race. If you enjoy depth, don’t force yourself to seek breadth. If you prefer single-tasking to multi-tasking, stick to your guns. Being relatively unmoved by rewards gives you the incalculable power to go your own way.
– Susan Cain
One honest relationship can be more productive than fistfuls of business cards.
– Susan Cain
I believe that introversion is my greatest strength. I have such a strong inner life that I’m never bored and only occasionally lonely. No matter what mayhem is happening around me, I know I can always turn inward.
– Susan Cain
The purpose of school should be to prepare kids for the rest of their lives, but too often what kids need to be prepared for is surviving the school day itself.
– Susan Cain
I think the secret to life is living in accordance with your natural temperament – setting up a career and a social life that really suits you. But, as the psychologist Brian Little says, we all need to stretch sometimes for the sake of work and people we love.
– Susan Cain
Our culture rightly admires risk-takers, but we need our “heed-takers” more than ever.
– Susan Cain
The universal longing for heaven is not about immortality so much as the wish for a world in which everyone is always kind.
– Susan Cain
Our culture is biased against quiet and reserved people, but introverts are responsible for some of humanity’s greatest achievements.
– Susan Cain